Free pattern for this cute patchwork Kitty:
Tina Fey defaces her Gap ad in New York. 2001.
ngl I would pay hella money for a bus shelter-sized gap ad featuring tfey
i am SO EXCITIED TO MEET PETE HOLMES IM GOING TO PEE
i had a whole dream last night about meeting him and in exactly one week it’s hAPEN ING
- makes the bed in the mornings: definitely not me im disgracefully messy its absolutely terrible
- has sole posession of the T.V. remote: immmmm gna say u cos i just dont care
- is the bigger cuddler: CUDDLE QUEEN RIGHT HERE STEP DOWN LUCY LIKLS
- does the laundry: like in the real world it would probably be both of us right but im going to say probably not me because im fkin lazy
- mows the lawn: UHHH
- shops for groceries: !?!?! both probably
- comes home drunk at 3am: i dont think u drink that much and i definitely dont drink at all so………
- makes breakfast: i. am sadly not a good cook but i can bake cakes but im not sure if that makes for a good breakfast
- remembers to feed the fish: not me i am so sorry 2 all fish
- decorates the apartment: u probably u have much more suitable nicer fkin ? aesthetic than i do i have the aesthetic of a 7 year old girl
- initiates duets: ME SORRY LUCY BUT HONESTLY
- falls asleep first: its 2:13am here right now so honestly i think the answer is obvious
i would cook and feed the fish im a great cook
i’m trying to find some philip k dick quotes to put on teacher stuff to inspire myself/my students etc but he’s kind of a bummer. like, “to live is to be haunted” is a little heavy for 7th graders
my sister joined a sorority in college. she also blew all her fund money on booze and clothes and got a tattoo
wow is that all they do
white mom: quit roughhousing!
white son: fuck u mom
white mom: oh heavens! thomas are you going to let your son talk to his mother like that?
white dad: go to your room billy right this minute!
white son: fuck u both *goes to room and jacks off and smokes weed out of mountain dew can*